In Memoriam | |
C.T.W. | |
Sometime Trooper of the Royal Horse Guards. | |
Obiit H.M. Prison, Reading, Berkshire, | |
July 7th, 1896 | |
| |
I | |
| |
He did not wear his scarlet coat, | |
For blood and wine are red, | |
And blood and wine were on his hands | |
When they found him with the dead, | |
The poor dead woman whom he loved, | 5 |
And murdered in her bed. | |
| |
He walked amongst the Trial Men | |
In a suit of shabby grey; | |
A cricket cap was on his head, | |
And his step seemed light and gay; | 10 |
But I never saw a man who looked | |
So wistfully at the day. | |
| |
I never saw a man who looked | |
With such a wistful eye | |
Upon that little tent of blue | 15 |
Which prisoners call the sky, | |
And at every drifting cloud that went | |
With sails of silver by. | |
| |
I walked, with other souls in pain, | |
Within another ring, | 20 |
And was wondering if the man had done | |
A great or little thing, | |
When a voice behind me whispered low, | |
That fellows got to swing.' | |
| |
Dear Christ! the very prison walls | 25 |
Suddenly seemed to reel, | |
And the sky above my head became | |
Like a casque of scorching steel; | |
And, though I was a soul in pain, | |
My pain I could not feel. | 30 |
| |
I only knew what hunted thought | |
Quickened his step, and why | |
He looked upon the garish day | |
With such a wistful eye; | |
The man had killed the thing he loved, | 35 |
And so he had to die. | |
| |
Yet each man kills the thing he loves, | |
By each let this be heard, | |
Some do it with a bitter look, | |
Some with a flattering word, | 40 |
The coward does it with a kiss, | |
The brave man with a sword! | |
| |
Some kill their love when they are young, | |
And some when they are old; | |
Some strangle with the hands of Lust, | 45 |
Some with the hands of Gold: | |
The kindest use a knife, because | |
The dead so soon grow cold. | |
| |
Some love too little, some too long, | |
Some sell, and others buy; | 50 |
Some do the deed with many tears, | |
And some without a sigh: | |
For each man kills the thing he loves, | |
Yet each man does not die. | |
| |
He does not die a death of shame | 55 |
On a day of dark disgrace, | |
Nor have a noose about his neck, | |
Nor a cloth upon his face, | |
Nor drop feet foremost through the floor | |
Into an empty space. | 60 |
| |
He does not sit with silent men | |
Who watch him night and day; | |
Who watch him when he tries to weep, | |
And when he tries to pray; | |
Who watch him lest himself should rob | 65 |
The prison of its prey. | |
| |
He does not wake at dawn to see | |
Dread figures throng his room, | |
The shivering Chaplain robed in white, | |
The Sheriff stern with gloom, | 70 |
And the Governor all in shiny black, | |
With the yellow face of Doom. | |
| |
He does not rise in piteous haste | |
To put on convict-clothes, | |
While some coarse-mouthed Doctor gloats, | 75 |
and notes | |
Each new and nerve-twitched pose, | |
Fingering a watch whose little ticks | |
Are like horrible hammer-blows. | |
| |
He does not know that sickening thirst | 80 |
That sands one's throat, before | |
The hangman with his gardener's gloves | |
Slips through the padded door, | |
And binds one with three leathern thongs, | |
That the throat may thirst no more. | 85 |
| |
He does not bend his head to hear | |
The Burial Office read, | |
Nor, while the terror of his soul | |
Tells him he is not dead, | |
Cross his own coffin, as he moves | 90 |
Into the hideous shed. | |
| |
He does not stare upon the air | |
Through a little roof of glass: | |
He does not pray with lips of clay | |
For his agony to pass; | 95 |
Nor feel upon his shuddering cheek | |
The kiss of Caiaphas. | |
| |
II | |
| |
Six weeks our guardsman walked the yard, | |
In the suit of shabby grey: | |
His cricket cap was on his head, | |
And his step seemed light and gay, | |
But I never saw a man who looked | 5 |
So wistfully at the day. | |
| |
I never saw a man who looked | |
With such a wistful eye | |
Upon that little tent of blue | |
Which prisoners call the sky, | 10 |
And at every wandering cloud that trailed | |
Its ravelled fleeces by. | |
| |
He did not wring his hands, as do | |
Those witless men who dare | |
To try to rear the changeling Hope | 15 |
In the cave of black Despair: | |
He only looked upon the sun, | |
And drank the morning air. | |
| |
He did not wring his hands nor weep, | |
Nor did he peek or pine, | 20 |
But he drank the air as though it held | |
Some healthful anodyne; | |
With open mouth he drank the sun | |
As though it had been wine! | |
| |
And I and all the souls in pain, | 25 |
Who tramped the other ring, | |
Forgot if we ourselves had done | |
A great or little thing, | |
And watched with gaze of dull amaze | |
The man who had to swing. | 30 |
| |
And strange it was to see him pass | |
With a step so light and gay, | |
And strange it was to see him look | |
So wistfully at the day, | |
And strange it was to think that he | 35 |
Had such a debt to pay. | |
| |
For oak and elm have pleasant leaves | |
That in the springtime shoot: | |
But grim to see is the gallows-tree, | |
With its adder-bitten root, | 40 |
And, green or dry, a man must die | |
Before it bears its fruit! | |
| |
The loftiest place is that seat of grace | |
For which all worldlings try: | |
But who would stand in hempen band | 45 |
Upon a scaffold high, | |
And through a murderer's collar take | |
His last look at the sky? | |
| |
It is sweet to dance to violins | |
When Love and Life are fair: | 50 |
To dance to flutes, to dance to lutes | |
Is delicate and rare: | |
But it is not sweet with nimble feet | |
To dance upon the air! | |
| |
So with curious eyes and sick surmise | 55 |
We watched him day by day, | |
And wondered if each one of us | |
Would end the self-same way, | |
For none can tell to what red Hell | |
His sightless soul may stray. | 60 |
| |
At last the dead man walked no more | |
Amongst the Trial Men, | |
And I knew that he was standing up | |
In the black dock's dreadful pen, | |
And that never would I see his face | 65 |
In God's sweet world again. | |
| |
Like two doomed ships that pass in storm | |
We had crossed each other's way: | |
But we made no sign, we said no word, | |
We had no word to say; | 70 |
For we did not meet in the holy night, | |
But in the shameful day. | |
| |
A prison wall was round us both, | |
Two outcast men we were: | |
The world had thrust us from its heart, | 75 |
And God from out His care: | |
And the iron gin that waits for Sin | |
Had caught us in its snare. | |
| |
III | |
| |
In Debtors' Yard the stones are hard, | |
And the dripping wall is high, | |
So it was there he took the air | |
Beneath the leaden sky, | |
And by each side a Warder walked, | 5 |
For fear the man might die. | |
| |
Or else he sat with those who watched | |
His anguish night and day; | |
Who watched him when he rose to weep, | |
And when he crouched to pray; | 10 |
Who watched him lest himself should rob | |
Their scaffold of its prey. | |
| |
The Governor was strong upon | |
The Regulations Act: | |
The Doctor said that Death was but | 15 |
A scientific fact: | |
And twice a day the Chaplain called, | |
And left a little tract. | |
| |
And twice a day he smoked his pipe, | |
And drank his quart of beer: | 20 |
His soul was resolute, and held | |
No hiding-place for fear; | |
He often said that he was glad | |
The hangman's hands were near. | |
| |
But why he said so strange a thing | 25 |
No Warder dared to ask: | |
For he to whom a watcher's doom | |
Is given as his task, | |
Must set a lock upon his lips, | |
And make his face a mask. | 30 |
| |
Or else he might be moved, and try | |
To comfort or console: | |
And what should Human Pity do | |
Pent up in Murderers' Hole? | |
What word of grace in such a place | 35 |
Could help a brother's soul? | |
| |
With slouch and swing around the ring | |
We trod the Fools' Parade! | |
We did not care: we knew we were | |
The Devil's Own Brigade: | 40 |
And shaven head and feet of lead | |
Make a merry masquerade. | |
| |
We tore the tarry rope to shreds | |
With blunt and bleeding nails; | |
We rubbed the doors, and scrubbed the floors, | 45 |
And cleaned the shining rails: | |
And, rank by rank, we soaped the plank, | |
And clattered with the pails. | |
| |
We sewed the sacks, we broke the stones, | |
We turned the dusty drill: | 50 |
We banged the tins, and bawled the hymns, | |
And sweated on the mill: | |
But in the heart of every man | |
Terror was lying still. | |
| |
So still it lay that every day | 55 |
Crawled like a weed-clogged wave: | |
And we forgot the bitter lot | |
That waits for fool and knave, | |
Till once, as we tramped in from work, | |
We passed an open grave. | 60 |
| |
With yawning mouth the yellow hole | |
Gaped for a living thing; | |
The very mud cried out for blood | |
To the thirsty asphalte ring: | |
And we knew that ere one dawn grew fair | 65 |
Some prisoner had to swing. | |
| |
Right in we went, with soul intent | |
On Death and Dread and Doom: | |
The hangman, with his little bag, | |
Went shuffling through the gloom: | 70 |
And each man trembled as he crept | |
Into his numbered tomb. | |
| |
That night the empty corridors | |
Were full of forms of Fear, | |
And up and down the iron town | 75 |
Stole feet we could not hear, | |
And through the bars that hide the stars | |
White faces seemed to peer. | |
| |
He lay as one who lies and dreams | |
In a pleasant meadow-land, | 80 |
The watchers watched him as he slept, | |
And could not understand | |
How one could sleep so sweet a sleep | |
With a hangman close at hand. | |
| |
But there is no sleep when men must weep | 85 |
Who never yet have wept: | |
So we - the fool, the fraud, the knave - | |
That endless vigil kept, | |
And through each brain on hands of pain | |
Another's terror crept. | 90 |
| |
Alas! it is a fearful thing | |
To feel another's guilt! | |
For, right within, the sword of Sin | |
Pierced to its poisoned hilt, | |
And as molten lead were the tears we shed | 95 |
For the blood we had not spilt. | |
| |
The Warders with their shoes of felt | |
Crept by each padlocked door, | |
And peeped and saw, with eyes of awe, | |
Grey figures on the floor, | 100 |
And wondered why men knelt to pray | |
Who never prayed before. | |
| |
All through the night we knelt and prayed, | |
Mad mourners of a corse! | |
The troubled plumes of midnight were | 105 |
The plumes upon a hearse: | |
And bitter wine upon a sponge | |
Was the savour of Remorse. | |
| |
The grey cock crew, the red cock crew, | |
But never came the day: | 110 |
And crooked shapes of Terror crouched, | |
In the corners where we lay: | |
And each evil sprite that walks by night | |
Before us seemed to play. | |
| |
They glided past, they glided fast, | 115 |
Like travellers through a mist: | |
They mocked the moon in a rigadoon | |
Of delicate turn and twist, | |
And with formal pace and loathsome grace | |
The phantoms kept their tryst. | 120 |
| |
With mop and mow, we saw them go, | |
Slim shadows hand in hand: | |
About, about, in ghostly rout | |
They trod a saraband: | |
And the damned grotesques made arabesques, | 125 |
Like the wind upon the sand! | |
| |
With the pirouettes of marionettes, | |
They tripped on pointed tread: | |
But with flutes of Fear they filled the ear, | |
As their grisly masque they led, | 130 |
And loud they sang, and long they sang, | |
For they sang to wake the dead. | |
| |
Oho!' they cried, 'The world is wide, | |
But fettered limbs go lame! | |
And once, or twice, to throw the dice | 135 |
Is a gentlemanly game, | |
But he does not win who plays with Sin | |
In the secret House of Shame.' | |
| |
No things of air these antics were, | |
That frolicked with such glee: | 140 |
To men whose lives were held in gyves, | |
And whose feet might not go free, | |
Ah! wounds of Christ! they were living things, | |
Most terrible to see. | |
| |
Around, around, they waltzed and wound; | 145 |
Some wheeled in smirking pairs; | |
With the mincing step of a demirep | |
Some sidled up the stairs: | |
And with subtle sneer, and fawning leer, | |
Each helped us at our prayers. | 150 |
| |
The morning wind began to moan, | |
But still the night went on: | |
Through its giant loom the web of gloom | |
Crept till each thread was spun: | |
And, as we prayed, we grew afraid | 155 |
Of the Justice of the Sun. | |
| |
The moaning wind went wandering round | |
The weeping prison-wall: | |
Till like a wheel of turning steel | |
We felt the minutes crawl: | 160 |
O moaning wind! what had we done | |
To have such a seneschal? | |
| |
At last I saw the shadowed bars, | |
Like a lattice wrought in lead, | |
Move right across the whitewashed wall | 165 |
That faced my three-plank bed, | |
And I knew that somewhere in the world | |
God's dreadful dawn was red. | |
| |
At six o'clock we cleaned our cells, | |
At seven all was still, | 170 |
But the sough and swing of a mighty wing | |
The prison seemed to fill, | |
For the Lord of Death with icy breath | |
Had entered in to kill. | |
| |
He did not pass in purple pomp, | 175 |
Nor ride a moon-white steed. | |
Three yards of cord and a sliding board | |
Are all the gallows' need: | |
So with rope of shame the Herald came | |
To do the secret deed. | 180 |
| |
We were as men who through a fen | |
Of filthy darkness grope: | |
We did not dare to breathe a prayer, | |
Or to give our anguish scope: | |
Something was dead in each of us, | 185 |
And what was dead was Hope. | |
| |
For Man's grim Justice goes its way, | |
And will not swerve aside: | |
It slays the weak, it slays the strong, | |
It has a deadly stride: | 190 |
With iron heel it slays the strong, | |
The monstrous parricide! | |
| |
We waited for the stroke of eight: | |
Each tongue was thick with thirst: | |
For the stroke of eight is the stroke of Fate | 195 |
That makes a man accursed, | |
And Fate will use a running noose | |
For the best man and the worst. | |
| |
We had no other thing to do, | |
Save to wait for the sign to come: | 200 |
So, like things of stone in a valley lone, | |
Quiet we sat and dumb: | |
But each man's heart beat thick and quick, | |
Like a madman on a drum! | |
| |
With sudden shock the prison-clock | 205 |
Smote on the shivering air, | |
And from all the gaol rose up a wail | |
Of impotent despair, | |
Like the sound that frightened marshes hear | |
From some leper in his lair. | 210 |
| |
And as one sees most fearful things | |
In the crystal of a dream, | |
We saw the greasy hempen rope | |
Hooked to the blackened beam, | |
And heard the prayer the hangman's snare | 215 |
Strangled into a scream. | |
| |
And all the woe that moved him so | |
That he gave that bitter cry, | |
And the wild regrets, and the bloody sweats, | |
None knew so well as I: | 220 |
For he who lives more lives than one | |
More deaths than one must die. | |
| |
IV | |
| |
There is no chapel on the day | |
On which they hang a man: | |
The Chaplain's heart is far too sick, | |
Or his face is far too wan, | |
Or there is that written in his eyes | 5 |
Which none should look upon. | |
| |
So they kept us close till nigh on noon, | |
And then they rang the bell, | |
And the Warders with their jingling keys | |
Opened each listening cell, | 10 |
And down the iron stair we tramped, | |
Each from his separate Hell. | |
| |
Out into God's sweet air we went, | |
But not in wonted way, | |
For this man's face was white with fear, | 15 |
And that man's face was grey, | |
And I never saw sad men who looked | |
So wistfully at the day. | |
| |
I never saw sad men who looked | |
With such a wistful eye | 20 |
Upon that little tent of blue | |
We prisoners called the sky, | |
And at every careless cloud that passed | |
In happy freedom by. | |
| |
But there were those amongst us all | 25 |
Who walked with downcast head, | |
And knew that, had each got his due, | |
They should have died instead: | |
He had but killed a thing that lived, | |
Whilst they had killed the dead. | 30 |
| |
For he who sins a second time | |
Wakes a dead soul to pain, | |
And draws it from its spotted shroud, | |
And makes it bleed again, | |
And makes it bleed great gouts of blood, | 35 |
And makes it bleed in vain! | |
| |
Like ape or clown, in monstrous garb | |
With crooked arrows starred, | |
Silently we went round and round | |
The slippery asphalte yard; | 40 |
Silently we went round and round, | |
And no man spoke a word. | |
| |
Silently we went round and round, | |
And through each hollow mind | |
The Memory of dreadful things | 45 |
Rushed like a dreadful wind, | |
And Horror stalked before each man, | |
And Terror crept behind. | |
| |
The Warders strutted up and down, | |
And kept their herd of brutes, | 50 |
Their uniforms were spick and span, | |
And they wore their Sunday suits, | |
But we knew the work they had been at, | |
By the quicklime on their boots. | |
| |
For where a grave had opened wide, | 55 |
There was no grave at all: | |
Only a stretch of mud and sand | |
By the hideous prison-wall, | |
And a little heap of burning lime, | |
That the man should have his pall. | 60 |
| |
For he has a pall, this wretched man, | |
Such as few men can claim: | |
Deep down below a prison-yard, | |
Naked for greater shame, | |
He lies, with fetters on each foot, | 65 |
Wrapt in a sheet of flame! | |
| |
And all the while the burning lime | |
Eats flesh and bone away, | |
It eats the brittle bone by night, | |
And the soft flesh by day, | 70 |
It eats the flesh and bone by turns, | |
But it eats the heart alway. | |
| |
| |
For three long years they will not sow | |
Or root or seedling there: | |
For three long years the unblessed spot | 75 |
Will sterile be and bare, | |
And look upon the wondering sky | |
With unreproachful stare. | |
| |
They think a murderer's heart would taint | |
Each simple seed they sow. | 80 |
It is not true! God's kindly earth | |
Is kindlier than men know, | |
And the red rose would but blow more red, | |
The white rose whiter blow. | |
| |
Out of his mouth a red, red rose! | 85 |
Out of his heart a white! | |
For who can say by what strange way, | |
Christ brings His will to light, | |
Since the barren staff the pilgrim bore | |
Bloomed in the great Pope's sight? | 90 |
| |
But neither milk-white rose nor red | |
May bloom in prison-air; | |
The shard, the pebble, and the flint, | |
Are what they give us there: | |
For flowers have been known to heal | 95 |
A common man's despair. | |
| |
So never will wine-red rose or white, | |
Petal by petal, fall | |
On that stretch of mud and sand that lies | |
By the hideous prison-wall, | 100 |
To tell the men who tramp the yard | |
That God's Son died for all. | |
| |
Yet though the hideous prison-wall | |
Still hems him round and round, | |
And a spirit may not walk by night | 105 |
That is with fetters bound, | |
And a spirit may but weep that lies | |
In such unholy ground, | |
| |
He is at peace - this wretched man - | |
At peace, or will be soon: | 110 |
There is no thing to make him mad, | |
Nor does Terror walk at noon, | |
For the lampless Earth in which he lies | |
Has neither Sun nor Moon. | |
| |
They hanged him as a beast is hanged: | 115 |
They did not even toll | |
A requiem that might have brought | |
Rest to his startled soul, | |
But hurriedly they took him out, | |
And hid him in a hole. | 120 |
| |
They stripped him of his canvas clothes, | |
And gave him to the flies: | |
They mocked the swollen purple throat, | |
And the stark and staring eyes: | |
And with laughter loud they heaped the shroud | 125 |
In which their convict lies. | |
| |
The Chaplain would not kneel to pray | |
By his dishonoured grave: | |
Nor mark it with that blessed Cross | |
That Christ for sinners gave, | 130 |
Because the man was one of those | |
Whom Christ came down to save. | |
| |
Yet all is well; he has but passed | |
To Life's appointed bourne: | |
And alien tears will fill for him | 135 |
Pity's long-broken urn, | |
For his mourners will be outcast men, | |
And outcasts always mourn | |
| |
V | |
| |
I know not whether Laws be right, | |
Or whether Laws be wrong; | |
All that we know who lie in gaol | |
Is that the wall is strong; | |
And that each day is like a year, | 5 |
A year whose days are long. | |
| |
But this I know, that every Law | |
That men have made for Man, | |
Since first Man took his brother's life, | |
And the sad world began, | 10 |
But straws the wheat and saves the chaff | |
With a most evil fan. | |
| |
This too I know - and wise it were | |
If each could know the same - | |
That every prison that men build | 15 |
Is built with bricks of shame, | |
And bound with bars lest Christ should see | |
How men their brothers maim. | |
| |
With bars they blur the gracious moon, | |
And blind the goodly sun: | 20 |
And they do well to hide their Hell, | |
For in it things are done | |
That Son of God nor son of Man | |
Ever should look upon! | |
| |
The vilest deeds like poison weeds, | 25 |
Bloom well in prison-air; | |
It is only what is good in Man | |
That wastes and withers there: | |
Pale Anguish keeps the heavy gate, | |
And the Warder is Despair. | 30 |
| |
For they starve the little frightened child | |
Till it weeps both night and day: | |
And they scourge the weak, and flog the fool, | |
And gibe the old and grey, | |
And some grow mad, and all grow bad, | 35 |
And none a word may say. | |
| |
Each narrow cell in which we dwell | |
Is a foul and dark latrine, | |
And the fetid breath of living Death | |
Chokes up each grated screen, | 40 |
And all, but Lust, is turned to dust | |
In Humanity's machine. | |
| |
The brackish water that we drink | |
Creeps with a loathsome slime, | |
And the bitter bread they weigh in scales | 45 |
Is full of chalk and lime, | |
And Sleep will not lie down, but walks | |
Wild-eyed, and cries to Time. | |
| |
But though lean Hunger and green Thirst | |
Like asp with adder fight, | 50 |
We have little care of prison fare, | |
For what chills and kills outright | |
Is that every stone one lifts by day | |
Becomes one's heart by night. | |
| |
With midnight always in one's heart, | 55 |
And twilight in one's cell, | |
We turn the crank, or tear the rope, | |
Each in his separate Hell, | |
And the silence is more awful far | |
Than the sound of a brazen bell. | 60 |
| |
And never a human voice comes near | |
To speak a gentle word: | |
And the eye that watches through the door | |
Is pitiless and hard: | |
And by all forgot, we rot and rot, | 65 |
With soul and body marred. | |
| |
And thus we rust Life's iron chain | |
Degraded and alone: | |
And some men curse, and some men weep, | |
And some men make no moan: | 70 |
But God's eternal Laws are kind | |
And break the heart of stone. | |
| |
And every human heart that breaks, | |
In prison-cell or yard, | |
Is as that broken box that gave | 75 |
Its treasure to the Lord, | |
And filled the unclean leper's house | |
With the scent of costliest nard. | |
| |
Ah! happy they whose hearts can break | |
And peace of pardon win! | 80 |
How else may man make straight his plan | |
And cleanse his soul from Sin? | |
How else but through a broken heart | |
May Lord Christ enter in? | |
| |
And he of the swollen purple throat, | 85 |
And the stark and staring eyes, | |
Waits for the holy hands that took | |
The Thief to Paradise; | |
And a broken and a contrite heart | |
The Lord will not despise. | 90 |
| |
The man in red who reads the Law | |
Gave him three weeks of life, | |
Three little weeks in which to heal | |
His soul of his soul's strife, | |
And cleanse from every blot of blood | 95 |
The hand that held the knife. | |
| |
And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand, | |
The hand that held the steel: | |
For only blood can wipe out blood, | |
And only tears can heal: | 100 |
And the crimson stain that was of Cain | |
Became Christ's snow-white seal. | |
| |
VI | |
| |
In Reading gaol by Reading town | |
There is a pit of shame, | |
And in it lies a wretched man | |
Eaten by teeth of flame, | |
In a burning winding-sheet he lies, | 5 |
And his grave has got no name. | |
| |
And there, till Christ call forth the dead, | |
In silence let him lie: | |
No need to waste the foolish tear, | |
Or heave the windy sigh: | 10 |
The man had killed the thing he loved, | |
And so he had to die. | |
| |
And all men kill the thing they love, | |
By all let this be heard, | |
Some do it with a bitter look, | 15 |
Some with a flattering word, | |
The coward does it with a kiss, | |
The brave man with a sword! | |